No One Should Go Forgotten
This might seem like an odd project, but we know I am a master in the area of oddball. It’s also a sweet project.
I have spent a lot of my life graveside. Far too much of it at the feet of loved ones and I have have noticed neighboring graves that clearly have had no visitors. There could be a variety of reasons — relatives do not live locally or perhaps because it is a very old grave. Whatever the reason, a grave that nobody visits can feel sad and lonely.
We can keep the memories going
A cemetery is a place for memories, it is a place where we go to to be reminded of the time we spent with our loved ones. It is the place that holds their memories. So when a grave has no visitors, it’s as if a bit of their memories disappear.
Let’s visit those with no visitors this February
These graves can show signs of wear and tear as moss and debris accumulate. Sadly, they aren’t just sad and forgotten, they can also look messy. So with February being the month of love, is the right time of the year to give those old graves a little bit of love too. It will also make the whole graveyard look cared for and tidy, which, in turn, might make more people to visit the graves of their loved ones. A win-win.
One point, however, if you are going to care for an abandoned grave, you may need to discuss it with the landowner, the township trustee, or the church attached to the cemetery. Typically, the care and maintenance of cemeteries fall onto those, and they need to know what you plan to do. The good news is that generally, those people will be happy to approve your project and support you. You might even get some help and make a friend - serious “pebble” opportunity here, people.
Caring for a forgotten grave is like caring for a forgotten soul
We are helping keep the beauty and connection
The beauty of tending to a grave with no visitors lies in the profound sense of connection it fosters with the departed. Caretakers become the custodians of these resting places, entrusted with the responsibility of honoring the lives that once graced this earth. This becomes tricky, however, to do in large cemeteries, as they have many responsibilities when it comes to maintaining the whole site. This is an opportunity for us. There's a certain intimacy in this act of care, through cleaning, repairing, and adorning these sacred spaces. We can pay our respects to a forgotten soul.
In taking on the task of caring for these forgotten graves, we start on a journey of reverence and restoration within the cemetery. Some may avoid cemeteries because they dislike how cold and lonely they feel. But once you tend to lonely graves, you can help warm up the general atmosphere within the cemetery. You can help other remember that this is a place designed to be filled with fond and happy memories.
We can help fill them with love.
Cleaning up
The first step often involves cleaning the grave and removing moss, weeds, debris, and dirt that may have accumulated over time. There may be a lot of work to do, so, it is worth bringing all the tools you need to give the stone its original shine and smoothness.
Repair adornments
The old grave marker may have actually been damaged beyond repair. This can happen a lot, and it can make it tough to read the family name anymore. Sometimes, relatives stop coming because they can’t find the grave anymore. So, it is worth considering replacing damaged markers with simple and beautiful granite grave markers from Memorials.com or from your local specialists. Bear in mind that you should ensure that you have the approval of the cemetery caretaker at this point.
Obviously, this is an expensive option and might be part of a larger community project - again, where are my “pebbles”? Go online and explaining the mission. It is a good way to find financial support for all the necessary purchases, from a grave marker to cleaning tools. Many locals would be happy to donate towards supporting your project.
No one should go forgotten
Finding the missing link
In some cases, with the help of caretakers and the local community, we may have the opportunity to delve deeper into the history of the graves. We can research the family of the deceased, and perhaps even find local relatives. Whether through genealogical records, historical archives, or personal anecdotes, uncovering the past can transform your project into a profound act of remembrance.
Flowers
Bringing flowers regularly is perhaps the most traditional and poignant way of honoring the departed. Whether it's a simple bouquet of wildflowers or a carefully arranged arrangement, flowers symbolize the eternal nature of memory. Consider bringing some personal garden flowers as a way to make it more personal. Growing flowers is a lovely hobby, and why not share some of your blooms with a lonely stranger?
For unvisited graves, bringing flowers is an expression of love and respect for those who have passed on and have been forgotten. Even if the grave belongs to a stranger, the gesture of laying flowers is a gesture of solidarity, a way of saying, "You are not forgotten."
In addition to flowers, we can add other decorations to the grave, such as long-lasting battery candles, angel statues, or other meaningful symbols.
The difference we can make
Caring for unvisited graves can make a huge difference in a cemetery. When every grave is tended to with love and respect, the entire cemetery comes alive with a sense of dignity and honor.
No longer do the forgotten graves fade into obscurity; instead, they stand as testaments to the enduring power of remembrance. A cared-for cemetery is not just a resting place for the dead but a sanctuary for the living, a place where the past and present intersect. By honoring the lives and legacies of those who have gone, we can also help more people connect. We can encourage visitors, and more importantly, we can encourage healing too.
