So I’ve been playing the Waiting Game. I hate it! For those of you who don’t know, in the Acting world No News is NOT Good News. And eventually the emails came through. Five callbacks for three roles but no shows.
Now my first reaction is disappointment because as I have already indicated, I wanted one of these roles a LOT! Like Bucket List LOT! But that is not what life seems to have in the cards today. My second reaction is to think that I must stink. Because that’s what I do. I decide that I stink. Like middle-school football players stink.
But I am fighting against that. First off, I got really good feedback and a second callback in two of the three roles. But more importantly, I think for one of the first times in my life, I know better. I felt it. And it was real. I am going to trust that. Trust myself.
So I return to disappointment. Smells better. Tastes just as bitter. But I am choosing to fight that, too. Something happened in these last three weeks. I remembered. I remembered why I have a six figure student loan instead of a house note. I remembered what it was that used to drive me. Sometimes drive me crazy. But nonetheless, drive me.
I had forgotten. At least, I had forgotten the depth of my passion. The need to do this. For better or worse, I have been bitten yet again by the bug. And like most bites, it stung a little. And now, I have no choice, I must scratch that itch.
Thanks to all of you who came by and wished me well. It meant more than you know. (Tomorrow is the last day of this current job and as I have no follow-up project for the moment, I should be back around the neighborhood very soon.)
6 Days to Go…