Dear Wizard (or Mr. Oz, if you prefer),
I used to have a brain, I really did. And as with most precious things, I never really appreciated it. But just as Dorothy longed for the home that she once looked to escape, I miss it. I want it back.
Where did I leave it, you ask? I’m not really sure. This morning, I started making lunches so it might be on the kitchen counter. I needed a thermos and a snack container so I started emptying the dishwasher. So possibly it’s sitting in the top rack that is still standing open from when I pulled the lunch items.
My son then called from the bathroom as he needed a towel. It could be hiding in the back of the linen closet. Or under the stacks of towels half-folded on the dryer. The towels I tried to fold when I went to to get that towel for my son.
Or it could be next to the fire extinguisher that I was supposed to put out for inspection and now will be charged $25. It might be in the bag of library books I was collecting for return.
Oh! It could be in the refrigerator… I remember standing there shivering as I tried to recollect why I opened the door in the first place. It might have had something to do with lunches. No, that can’t be right because my son wanted to buy lunch today. That reminds me, I need to get cash to send with him to refill his lunch card. They won’t take checks.
Checks? Why does that ring a bell? Do I need to go to the bank? Or the grocery store where the bank is? Yes, that could be it. Our pantry has begun to resemble the Hubbard household.
Okay. Wait. What was I saying? I had a point. Something was missing. What was it again? Oh yes, my brain. I was saying that my brain has gone missing so could you “scare” one up for me? I promise I’ll be much more careful with this one.
Now if I could just find my keys…