There is a series put on by two guys called “S@*t Girls Say” which is hilarious as are the many spin-offs that I have seen (including that of my friend, Unknown Mami). But I don’t think anything is crazy as the things my kids say. I’ve shared before but I’ll have trouble topping this edition.
My soon-to- be five year old daughter has become boy crazy. She has discovered Justin Bieber which definitely falls under the WTF category! But it gets worse, as you will see…
Bieber Fever — My Little Diva was introduced to Justin in the intro to the film “Arthur’s Christmas”. She leaned over and said he was handsome. I should have known that the rabbit hole had begun but I didn’t. I just thought it was cute. She then found “Never Say Never” on Netflix. (Lord, help me!) The other night she ran into the living room. She had been wound up and to help her calm down before lights out, we had let her watch Netflix in bed. Usually that involves a Veggie Tale but it seems that she traveled over to Bieber-land. This conversation followed:
Little Diva: Mommy. I was trying to go to sleep but every time a song came on, I just wanted to get up and dance. I guess I can’t go to sleep to Bieber.
The next morning, she told me that she had a dream wherein she had a half Princess and half Bieber room. (Okay, I know you are all throwing up a little in your mouths — I do apologize!). She then went on to say that she really wanted a mostly Justin Bieber room. (I’m telling you now that is NOT happening!)
Lest you think that Bieber fever is the worst with which this momma has to deal, she has noticed real boys, as well. All I can say, is “Pray for me, people. Pray. For. Me. ”
Two days after Christmas, my daughter rushed into our room. (Yes, she does a lot of that. Everything is very dramatic, hence the name Little Diva.) And as you read this, know that I am thinking, “where is my camera when I need it?”
Little Diva: Mommy, I have found true love.
Me: (stifling giggles) You have?
LD: No, seriously. “T” and I have true love. We’re going to get married.
Me: (in pain trying not to burst out with laughter) You are? Well, at least “T” is a nice boy.
LD: Yes, he loves my singing. He says I have a beautiful voice.
My only consolation in the above conversation is that at least she picked him because he thought she was talented, not because he thought she was pretty. Pretty cold consolation but consolation, none-the-less.
She hadn’t brought boys in a few weeks and I was hoping that she had moved on. Two nights, however, she started a conversation this way:
Little Diva: “B” thinks he is going to marry me.
Me: He does?
LD: Yes, every day. But I’m not going to marry him. He’s my boyfriend but I’m not his girlfriend.
(Inappropriate laughter from husband and me)
Me: Then, whose girlfriend are you?
Me: (Sigh of relief) Good. (Remembering previous conversation) But what about “T”?
LD: Oh yeah, he’s my boyfriend.
LD: Can we stop talking about this boyfriend/girlfriend thing?
Me: Yes, yes, we can.