I have not always been good about loving myself. Being born with a big, red birthmark on my nose began my struggle with my appearance. Add to that gangly spider legs, stringy hair, and almost four years in braces and no, I did not grow up loving what the mirror showed back to me. Long after the birthmark and braces had been removed, I still struggled with feeling beautiful. Well, let’s be honest, make that struggle present tense.
But it’s more than appearance. I have spent many years locked in the bonds of perfectionism. I would freeze in preparing for an audition because I was so sure I wasn’t good enough. Moving into social media can overwhelm me in similar ways. I replaced call-backs and bookings with page views and likes. Not a great self-esteem builder.
But worst of all, I would judge my job at home. Did I have my kids in enough activities? Or too many? Was my house clean enough? I’m not crafty or a cook so I felt like I was failing my kids on that front and we were stretched thin for money so I had to say no a lot. I felt too strict or too lenient.
It was that last struggle, however, that has helped me realize how important finding love for myself is. My children are so amazing to me. I want them to feel that way about themselves. Telling them they’re awesome, however, won’t do it. Because if there is one thing I have learned as a mom is that actions matter far more words. If I don’t live love for myself, love for them won’t teach it.
I’m Falling in Love…
So about a year ago, I began a journey to fall in love with myself. It even feels weird to say that. I am not sure why. I am a good friend, a pretty good mom, and as I tell my husband every day, a fabulous wife. Well, most days – haha. I believe in a God that created me. I am surrounded by love. But I found it hard to love myself.
It’s not come easy or quickly but I am getting there bit by bit. I’m not sure the mirror and I will be ever be friends but I choose to smile at it rather than scowl. With my perfectionism, I have begun giving myself the grace I would give others. And most of all, (and a nod to my adopting friends), I decided to love the mother of my children. If another woman had given me these precious gifts, I would think her wonderful. Well, I am going to love that woman even if she is me.
Do you share this struggle? Tell me something you love about yourself. Let’s celebrate together.
This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. Loving Yourself by Joanne | Loving Yourself This Valentine’s Day by Traci | New Routine & New Doctor by Karen | Care For Yourself By Reducing Anxiety & Worry by Karen | Permission To Cry by Brandy | Caring For Myself In My First Trimester by Jenny. If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers.