Each and every day, more and more of us are struggling with stress, anxiety, and depression, and it’s important that we’re not neglecting our mental health.

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It is my Universe, after all.

Mental Health = Health

Mental health is everything.

It has an overall effect on our daily routines and impacts how we take on the day. From how we feel in and about our relationships with others to how we feel about ourselves looking in the mirror, it’s not something we can ignore without it having a serious negative impact on life. Trust me, I know. The weight of the last couple of months has caught up with me and I found myself irritable and tired.

So if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. The first step is admitting that there’s a problem and that you need to take action. Or as in my case having an insightful daughter suggesting you need therapy. Sometimes our children are our teachers.

Identify the problem

Sometimes the things with which we’re dealing can be difficult to identify. You might even be struggling with something without knowing it, and before you can get to work on recovering from it - you need to identify the problem. For example, if you were seeking treatment for anxiety when your struggles are actually a symptom of something else - it might not be effective.

We need to start thinking about our day-to-day experiences, how they may be impacting our lives, and what else it is with which we may be struggling. Of course, a self-diagnosis (nor a StarTraci one) isn’t the best thing to go off of, and it would be a good idea to make an appointment with a healthcare professional.

It’s okay to ask for help

Okay, so we’ve accepted we need to do something. Now it’s time we get down to it. There’s no shame in getting help and speaking with a mental health professional, like a therapist. In fact, for years, as the wife of disabled vet with PTSD, I have seen the help that can be provided. Getting the right diagnosis is the first step to improving their mental health, as an extra level of treatment might be necessary.

Seeking the expertise of an ADHD coach, for instance, can also be a game-changer. These professionals specialize in helping individuals with conditions like ADHD to utilize their strengths effectively and develop practical strategies for daily challenges. By working alongside a coach, you can create structured plans and find the accountability you need to achieve your goals. This focused support can be a valuable complement to therapy, offering a personalized approach to managing your particular condition in both personal and professional spheres.

Talk, Talk, Talk

In some cases, it just helps to have someone to talk to about our “stuff” (insert expletive of choice here). The therapist may share some coping strategies, too. While it’s not an instant cure to our problems, (I have yet to hear of one for “mom to teens angst”😂) it can make living with our mental health struggles much easier with practice.

Take some time off

Hello, kettle. I’m pot.

If we spend all of our time stuck in a loop of working hard and then being too tired to pursue our own interests, it’s going to lead to burnout, or feeling dissatisfied with life. I may or may not be pretty close to here. If we’re not getting enough time to think about our own creative passions, it can feel like we’re never going to have time to enjoy yourself. It feeds on itself. If you’re feeling like this, consider getting time away from work to focus on what you really want to do. Maybe the dream is a vacation abroad, but we don’t need to go anywhere to enjoy time away from work. If there’s something you want to do, let’s figure out how you could put more time into it.

Even when you’re not burnt out, working too long without a break can build up stress, which wears you down. We need to make sure we’re taking enough time to unwind and process our stress. Otherwise, take some advice from that song we teach kiddos…

I'm a little teapot
Short and stout.
Here is my handle,
Here is my spout.
When I get all steamed up
Hear me shout:
Tip me over
And pour me out!

Me Time Matters

Trying to make everyone happy is impossible. If it could be done - it likely would have already been done, but I know I would have wrapped it up in a bow, baby! I have bent myself in every direction trying to do it, saying yes to everyone, and trying to be there every time I have been asked. And yes, it did make me feel like I was being nice, but I also genuinely liked doing for others, however, it was at the expense of myself and my own interests. We can’t be everywhere at once, and even if it feels like we’re being selfish, we should make sure we’re putting yourself first when it matters. We all need some alone time here and there, and even if you spend it doing nothing at all but relaxing, it’s necessary if we’re going to reduce stress which can improve our mental health.

Now some of us, prefer not to be alone. It’s important to take stock of why that is. This was/is an issue for me. Did I enjoy my own company? Do I have anything I can do for fun when I’m on my own? If you struggle to be alone, it can be an indication of another issue. Getting to the bottom of it, can truly improve your mental health.

Am I coping or not?

We all have our own ways to handle our emotions, but it’s important to keep in mind that just because it feels good in the moment, doesn’t mean that it’s effective for the long term. For example, turning to alcohol when we feel like shiza (it doesn’t count if it’s in another language, right?), it might help us avoid our feelings in the moment, but alcohol can make symptoms of depression much worse - which could get us stuck in a loop.

I drink more so I can feel better but my alcohol makes me feel bad so I drink more so I can feel better but my alcohol makes me feel bad…

Substance abuse never helps- especially when trying to manage or recover from grief. 

Go to sleep

There are a lot of ties to mental health and sleep, and if you’re not getting enough of it, there’s a chance that you’re struggling as a result. I know I am not. Maybe you feel used to skipping sleep, like me, and willing to miss out on a little at the risk of being just tired - but evidently, it’s much more than that. Consistent lack of sleep can lead to declining mental health, and guess what? We get on another one of those merry-go-rounds. Our declining mental health makes it more difficult to sleep. Anyone who has stared at the ceiling with the big list, knows this one. If you’re having trouble sleeping, it’s important that you speak to a professional ASAP, or else you might stay in this loop and it’s a tough one to break.

Treat yourself better

Man, I have a full kitchen full of crockery here.

We mistreat ourselves on a daily basis, and it’s important that we start catching it when it happens and STOP it. It comes in many forms. For me, much of it I had grown used to for as long as I can remember. For example, I tear myself apart whenever I make a mistake. Are you overly harsh? Do you treat yourself as you would a friend? Setting expectations for ourselves that we wouldn’t put on others isn’t something that’s fair to do, and it can make things more stressful for us. Instead of doing that, we should think about how we can treat ourselves better. Let’s not just be each others’ friends, let’s be our own friends.

Consider buying yourself things as rewards for reaching milestones. These don’t have to be expensive items. It truly is just an acknowledgment to yourself of your hard work. Despite what we might have become used to, treating ourselves negatively will have an impact on your mental health. 

It’s not just about the things we tell ourselves, though, self-care is about the physical treatment, too. We have to think about how much sleep we’re getting, what we’re eating, and how much were exercising. How often are we getting outside? Taking deep breaths?

It helps if we separate ourself from our habits and look at it as if we’re caring for another person. When we’re looking after someone, we tend to be more considerate of their health and what’s best for them. Applying that train of thought to your own needs might be something that we should be doing. I know I can do better.

Go Out Your Door

While it might not be the easiest thing when you are struggling mentally, making sure that you’re spending time with the people you love can be important. You don’t have to do anything fancy, you just need to ensure that you’re not isolating yourself. This might mean heading out to various restaurants and trying new places, going for a walk with your friends, or staying at home on the couch. It’s about what you need, and making sure that you’re not cutting yourself off from the people closest to you.

Being around people who love you is a massive mental health boost, so try to do it on a regular basis, as long as they are healthy for your life.

What can you do to improve your mental health?