Just Say You’re Sorry

This past week, social media, politicians, and pundits delved into an ugly discussion surrounding Imane Khelif’s gender. I warily dive into these waters, but to start, I am not talking politics here, I am talking civility.

To start, the Olympics are supposed a politics-free place. I understand that “supposed” is strongly placed in quotes, but that is the ideal. Second, neither of these athletes were US athletes and neither invited our politicians to speak on the fight. More so, neither asked to question their gender status. Had it been a civil discussion, that might have been inappropriate, but I would never speak here about it. The discussion stay centered around a blood test that had been disputed and overturned. Again, not our dog, not our fight, but could have been civil. But, no…

The discussion quickly became about her appearance, She was too big. She was too ugly to be a woman. Constant comparisons to the much smaller Italian opponent were made.

Just Say “sorry”, it’s not that hard

This Makes Me Sad

Two things made me sad about this.

First was the joy that was stolen from Khelif. She has been working her whole life for this. All evidence shows that she was born and has lived her entire life as a female. Megyn Kelly may yell that she doesn’t give a $h*t as much as she wants, but Khelif’s life proves out differently. It is simply a cheap shot to her and her parents and they deserve better. They did nothing to bring this on themselves.

I am also sad for all the young girls and women who look more like Khelif than a Kelly or any other made for TV pundit. Whether intentional or not, they were told that their gender was in question. Are they too big to be female? Are they too ugly to be female? Because when people are simply staring at a screen and yelling “that is a man” and young minds are taking that in, the subtleties of a test that might have been mentioned five minutes ago are lost. At this moment, the judgment is on the appearance and that is what that girl is taking in. They deserve better.

As a nation, we want to watch the Olympics and cheer on the athletes and be inspired by the hard work that brought them there. We don’t want it brought down by needless wrangling over a discussion that wasn’t even started by the athletes at hand. The Italian athlete, Angela Carini, says she is saddened for Khelif and embarrassed that she didn’t shake her hand. She isn’t questioning Khelif’s gender. She accepts the decision. So why did others not?

Raising my children, I told them to say sorry when they made a mistake, as my mother taught me. This was true of her mother and her mother before her and so on. What happened to that?

If all of those who raised the issue truly believed that Khelif was a man, and therefore had cheated, then they should take in the correct information and apologize. Apologize as loudly as they misspoke and insulted her. More so, if they knew better, and just yelled mean things for a cause, as much as they believe in that cause. they really should apologize, because she never asked to be the face of any cause. She was competed and won a place to represent her country (not ours). They chose her and the Olympic committee agreed. She did nothing to us and she was bullied. An apology is owed just as one would tell their child to apologize if they called someone ugly, because that is what happened. She was bullied and de facto, all those who see themselves in her were bullied.

Say you’re sorry.

Whatever feelings one has on transathletes should NOT have been put on this woman. She should NOT have been pulled into American politics. She should NOT have been demonized and thrown into a social media mud fight that she didn’t start.

She is owed an apology. She deserved better.
Her family is owed an apology. They deserved better.
Young girls are owed an apology. They deserve better.

I am so tired of this. Aren’t you? I started “the pebble” because I really believe that we can use social media to spread kindness as easily as we spread negativity. All of these people could choose joy and be kind. I am choosing that and I hope you will, too.

We deserve better.

Just say you’re sorry