In the 90’s, this blonde loved the 4 Non Blondes’ song “What’s Up?” and while I am double the age of the singer, lately I have felt much the same. I am still trying to get up that hill of hope.

The news reminds me constantly that things are tough all around. Hospitals bombed, politicians fighting, and a feeling of morose can take hold easily. Yes, smiley, perky people can get as down as the rest of them.

Some nights I do curl up and cry. For myself, for my family, for the world. But just as those four brunettes wailed, I wake up each morning and breathe in, trying to make it a great day.

Some days, I succeed. Others I don’t.

That’s okay.

Life is not perfect. And news flash, it’s not supposed to be. Whether you believe there is something after this go or not, life has a journey. And no Hero’s Journey was without peril or loss or fear of failure.

And you are the hero of your life.

Or you should be.

Stop waiting for your invite. Ben Kenobi is not coming. Actually, he is on Disney+ in the form of the always beautiful Ewan McGregor. But he’s not coming for you. Or me. Sadly….

I digress. I do that.

I live in a house surrounded by ADD (in different flavors), PTSD, anxiety, and depression. The people I love all sit on the precipice of mental health. This is the burden I carry. Some days light. Some days heavy. All 100% worth it. We live and love the best we can as the people we are that day and that time.

That’s my reality. That’s what is going on behind square frames of smiles and sunshine.

But that also doesn’t negate the sun. My smiles are real.