The World I Want for My Daughter
Over at Country-Fried Mama, she is hosting a Blog Carnival to raise awareness for the Joyful Heart Foundation.
The foundation was started by Mariska Hargitay (star of Law & Order: SVU) in response to the many letters she has received from rape survivors. It works to provide solace and hope to these survivors.It also is committed to working through the discouraging backlog of rape kits. Tomorrow night's episode of SVU will focus on this very issue.So to bring attention to this wonderful organization, we are collectively writing about the world we want for our daughters. Many will write beautifully of wanting a safe world for their daughters, free of abuse. I echo that. But as I am not a survivor of such abuse, I will speak to what I know.I grew up in the 1970s and was very much the product of the Feminist movement. Women were entering the workforce in greater numbers. Bonnie Franklin showed us the struggles of a working, single mother in "One Day at a Time" and Gloria Steinem made being a Ms. look cool and hot at the same time.That being said, nothing was a given as a girl. I remember many a fight with boys about whether I could do something because I was a girl. And if I "could ", then it would certainly be done less successfully than by a boy. Even as Marlo Thomas told me I was "Free to Be", my peers told me that I threw like a girl. Which evidently is something terrible.People laughed at the thought of a female president. The ERA was not passed. Women were blatantly harassed and discriminated against in the workplace. In other words, I was part of the transition generation. We were shown the dream ("The Glass Ceiling", if you will) but we weren't expected to fully live it.Fast forward to the 21st Century. My daughter. Things are much better. She was born when Hillary Clinton was the presumptive Democratic nominee. She doesn't have to be told that she is equal to her brother because nobody is telling her that she's not. She is the beneficiary of much.As the old Virginia Slims ad used to say, "(We've) come a long way, Baby". But we're not in the Promised Land yet. My daughter is inundated with images of what it is to be "beautiful". She said the word "sexy" to me. She is already talking about boyfriends. She is ...UGH! Even writing these things makes my head hurt. I thought I had more time before I had these worries.So the world I want for my daughter is one wherein she believes herself to be enough. A world where she is limited by her talents and determination, not whether she wears a skirt. A world wherein it is assumed that she is as capable as her brother to reach for her dreams and make them happen.More than that, however, I want a world that expects her to contribute. Whether as a mother or teacher or the next CEO of a Fortune 500, I want her to be a productive woman with integrity. I am frightened by the seeming celebration of mindlessness, of vapid girl-women who think that their beauty is their chief value and being smart is antithetical.Finally, I want a world where she expects more of herself. A world where she believes that not only can she contribute but she should. I don't know what that will be. Personally, I don't care, as long as she does her best, finds fulfillment, and is a force for good.So that is the world I want for my daughter. But also for my son. Really, I want a world where gender is seen as a determinant for nothing more than a restroom and reproduction. That is the world I want.And as a child of the 1970s, I could not resist the opportunity to share my favorite School House Rock moment -- "Sufferin' 'til Suffrage". Remember those giant Star Spangled bell-bottoms? Who can forget? But in case you did or you missed it, you can watch it here.Now you have heard of Women's Rights,And how we've tried to reach new heights.If we're "all created equal"...That's us too!(Yeah!)But you will proba ... bly not recallThat it's not been too ... too long at all,Since we even had the right toCast a vote.(Well!)Well, sure, some men bowed down and called us "Mrs." (Yeah!)Let us hang the wash out and wash the dishes, (Huh!)But when the time rolled around to elect a president...What did they say, Sister, (What did they say?)They said, uh, "See ya later, alligator,And don't forget my ... my mashed potatoes,'Cause I'm going downtown to cast my vote for president."Oh, we were suffering until suffrage,Not a woman here could vote, no matter what age,Then the 19th Amendment struck down that restrictive rule. (Oh yeah!)And now we pull down on the lever,Cast our ballots and we endeavorTo improve our country, state, county, town, and school.(Tell 'em 'bout it!)Those pilgrim women who ...Who braved the boatCould cook the turkey, but they ...They could not vote.Even Betsy Ross who sewed the flag was left behind that first election day.(What a shame, Sisters!)Then Susan B. Anthony (Yeah!) and Julia Howe,(Lucretia!) Lucretia Mott, (and others!) they showed us how;They carried signs and marched in linesUntil at long last the law was passed.Oh, we were suffering until suffrage,Not a woman here could vote, no matter what age,Then the 19th Amendment struck down that restrictive rule. (Oh yeah!)And now we pull down on the lever,Cast our ballots and we endeavorTo improve our country, state, county, town, and school. (Right On! Right On!)Yes the 19th AmendmentStruck down that restrictive rule. (Right On! Right On!)Yes the 19th AmendmentStruck down that restrictive rule.(Yeah, yeah!Yeah, yeah!Right on!We got it now!)Since 1920...Sisters, unite!Vote on!“The world I want for my children” is an effort to support The Joyful Heart Foundation, which was founded by Law & Order: SVU actress Mariska Hargitay to help victims of sexual assault mend their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives. Today, the foundation is at the forefront of an effort to end a disheartening backlog of tens of thousands of rape kits in labs across the country, a backlog that contributes to a rapist’s 80 percent chance of getting away with his crime. The backlog and its detrimental effects will be the topic of an SVU episode on September 29th.