You may have noticed that I haven't posted much this week. Or maybe not... I have written and re-wrtitten this post in my head about a hundred times this week.Fifteen years ago tonight my brother died suddenly in a motorcycle accident. Some of you have been with me long enough to remember the post last year, but as I had seven followers back then, most of you do not.My brother was a lively, infuriating, intelligent, daredevil of a brother. He and I had a classic love-hate relationship growing up and this had defined the short years we had as adult siblings. Six months before my brother died, however, we lost a cousin in another tragic incident. This was something of a turning point for us.While we never became two peas in a pod, we also came to a point where we never hung up a phone without saying "I love you". And I have the great blessing of saying that I spoke to him on the phone that day and I remember saying "I love you" before that final click.My brother never saw his 21st birthday and as we round out 15 years since he moved on, I realize that the day will come soon when he will have been gone as long as he was here. That is an overwhelming thought. He never held my children. And yet, I see him everyday.So today is today. Just a day, but not just a day. I will mark it at this moment and then I will go on with my day -- holding my kids (probably a little tighter), practicing spelling words with my son, and baking cookies with my daughter. Because that is what he would want me to do.My brother, you are always in my heart.