My Knuckles Are White...

Because I am holding on so tight.Some people raise their hands in freedom on roller coasters. They scream and laugh with joy as their bodies are propelled through space and time by forces larger than themselves.That's some people. That's not me. I love roller coasters but I never raise my hands. I hold on for dear, dear life. I desperately try to control myself within these forces. As I am bumped and tossed, I hold on even tighter as if somehow I can defeat physics.And as a mom, my life is much like a roller coaster.I want to let go. I want to squeal with delight as I ride the coaster of life. I want to enjoy every moment of life with my family. I want to revel in the messy, creative chaos of my life. So if that's what I want, why do I hold on so tightly? Why do I white knuckle life?It must be fear. So then the question is, what scares me so? What is the worst than can happen if I let go of the bar, throw my hands in the air and wave them like I just don't care?

That may be the question of my life.

In the ride of life, are you in the front of the train with raised hands or are you in the back holding on for dear life?