With the big not-so big birthday coming up, I've been thinking a lot about time. The time that has gone past and the time still left. How I've used what I've been given and how I will use what is yet to come.
I am deathly afraid of wasting time. I always have been. It's as if I am running from time. I rarely sit and just enjoy a moment. Even if I am not actually "doing" something, I am "thinking about what I need to do". In fact, I often consider time the enemy. I say things like, "Why can't there be more hours in the day?' "I never have enough time" "Is that the time -- yikes!" You get the idea. Time and me, not such great buds.
But I want to work on that. I do not want to spend the next five or six decades chasing the future, and regretting the past. I also want to have time for me. Something I never take. So for my birthday, I am giving myself the gift of time. I have been reading -- what a glorious gift. I used to live with my nose amongst the fresh pages of a new paperback or the dog-eared yellow pages of a library book. And. I. Loved. It. I havealso been walking at least a mile on the treadmill. I have been writing. With a pen, not just tapping keys. This does cost me other time, however.
I am trying to balance all this with what I already do and I chose this gift right as I started my three weeks of teaching. It's a shell game. I am getting up earlier but I am also off the computer a lot. Which I miss and don't miss. I can get lost in this screen -- blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc. So bear with me as I get this game of Monte going.
How do you feel about time? How do you protect it for your slef without letting go of what you want or need to do?
So with 27 days to go, I thought that I would share a little ditty about time. There were hundreds of options but I went with one that I listened to ad nauseum as a teen. What can I say, I am feeling reflective!
Hazy Shade of Winter (The Bangles)
Time,Time,Time, see what's become of meWhile I looked around for my possibilities.
I was so hard to please.Look around,Leaves are brown,And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.Hear the Salvation Army band.Down by the riverside'sBound to be a better rideThan what you've got planned.Carry your gun in your hand.Look around.Leaves are brown.And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.Hang on to your hopes, my friend.That's an easy thing to say,But if your hopes should pass awaySimply pretend that you can build them again.Look around,The grass is high,The fields are ripe,It's the springtime of my life.Seasons change with the scenery;Weaving time in a tapestry.Won't you stop and remember meLook around,Leaves are brown,And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.Look around,Leaves are brown,There's a patch of snow on the ground.27 Days and Counting...
