My Daughter Needs a Superhero that Doesn't Suck
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a Superhero. But as a girl of that seventies, there wasn’t a whole lot from which to choose. In 1975, Linda Carter brought Wonder Woman to Technicolor life. She had a golden eagle held aloft by her bountiful breasts, With red boots to match, the stars (if not the stripes) were represented on bottom as she ran, leapt, and sometimes wiggled her derriere across the screen. Basically, in ‘70s terms, she was a hottie but as a superhero, not so hot.When you think of a superhero, you focus on the power(s) that defines his superiority. Superman was “faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound!” He came from another planet and could fly. Spiderman had been bit by a radioactive spider providing Peter Parker with strength and web-slinging abilities that were very convenient for swinging around town. Batman may have had more earthbound powers but he had a great car and saved Gotham whenever his sign shined above the night sky. But Wonder Woman…Wonder Woman could make you tell the truth. Sure her golden cuffs could deflect bullets but if she was unable to break any bounds put on her by a man. What kind of Kryptonite crap is that? Men make up half the population, this seems like a pretty large chink in her armor. So at the end of the day, she had an Invisible plane (which was never clear to me --pun only slightly intended – was she invisible in the plane or was just the plane invisible?) and her Golden Lasso.Ah, the Golden Lasso. That sounds cool. What does it do? Capture super villainous Nazis like wayward longhorns on a cattle drive? Uh…no.Well, does it have super strength that allows Wonder Woman to tie up Hulk-like creatures with ease? Well… not really.Its sole power is to get nefarious individuals to tell the truth. I do that every day! Of course, I’m not doing battle with 1940’s German officers. I face a much more desperate enemy – a five year old girl and an eight year old boy! Give me Nazis any day! Once those two start the “he did it/she did it”, you would think brokering the Geneva Convention was like flipping a pancake!