This is My Story...

Every blogger has a story to tell, a raison d'être if you will. Some use words, some may use photos to tell it, but they all have something that they want to say. If I had any doubt, it was removed this past weekend at BlissDom. I met so many different bloggers with different styles, topics, and genres, but all were there because they had something to share with the world.Well, this is mine...I grew up with very big dreams. I wanted to be an actress since birth. I remember performing on my parents driveway hoping to be kidnapped by the producers of "Annie". (Maybe not the best realization of a dream, but we'll just let that sleeping dog lie...)As evidenced by the Annie kidnap scenario, I was a weird kid who saw my life through the lens of movie camera. Every Thursday night, I would watch the TV show "Fame" and when Debbie Allen hit her stick on the wood floor and declared, "You got big dreams? You want fame? Well, fame costs and this is where you start paying!" I was nodding yes and yes. I had big dreams and I wasn't afraid of hard work. In fact, I craved it.I honestly believed that if I worked hard enough, if I invested the most sweat, tears, and heartache that all my dreams would come true. This was my driving force for the first 30 years of my life.It did not come easily. I was not immediately recognized as a great talent. I got a LOT of rejections but I kept going and I kept working. Work was my number one virtue. Finally, at the end of college, I started getting cast. I got small parts. I took over when people got ill. I took every opportunity I could to prove myself. And things slowly started to happen for me in my hometown.I felt, however, to make those big dreams truly happen, I had to go to grad school. I spent a year of my life preparing for those auditions. My brother died that year and still I stay focused on going to acting school. I ate, drank, and slept thespian. Finally, the day in February 1996 came and I headed to Chicago.I auditioned for six schools. I got five rejections and I got one YES! This was the culmination of all my hard work. And yet, there was so much more work to do. I mentioned that I was a weird kid. Well, I am also a weird adult and being among other weird adults does not inherently mean I would fit in. I didn't. Many of my fellows had been accepted to several schools. Many of my fellows already had professional credits. Many were more beautiful than I. My insecurity pot ranneth over. I struggled in my classes. Any of you who may be thing that acting school is fun or easy, please allow me to educate you. Imagine having therapy in front of the world. Imagine being told that you don't even breathe right. much less walk and talk correctly. Take a local Improv class and "try to be funny". It is tough and I almost gave up, but that sound of Debbie Allen kept running in my head.Finally, I started to gain some confidence in myself as an actress. I started to believe again that the world was just waiting for me to arrive. I had worked. I had paid with sweat. And my showcase was just around the corner. "Watch out New York! Stand by, L.A.!" I was coming.To be continued...