It's My Life... How Much Do (I) Do?

When I was young, I loved the Talk Talk song, "It's My Life".It was a song about a relationship where one partner seemed to be all in and the other, maybe not so much. (No Doubt covered it years later but Gwen Stefani's voice never had the same desperation of Mark Hollis.) But even back then it felt like a statement on me --my life, my commitment, what was I going to do in this world. Flash forward 29 years and I am still asking myself these questions.I've asked myself, how much do you commit yourself?I just watched "Mary and Martha", a film about two moms with different lives but a shared and profound loss. They decide that they can help save the 500K children a year that die from the preventable disease of malaria.  And even as I cried over their lost boys, and appreciated the performances of Brenda Blethyn  and Hilary Swank; all I could think is "Traci, how much do you commit yourself? What good do you do?"What good do I do?I am a mother and try my damnedest to raise children that will change the world for good. But what good do I do? I save pennies for Disney, not mosquito nets. I don't get polio vaccines to poor children in India. My friend Amanda from Keep It Complicated is sponsoring a school in India. I make copies in my children's very well cared for school.  Not quite the same thing.Do I make the world a better place? I hope and believe that I make my family's life better; and my friends' lives better, but do I make the world better? I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I certainly hope the answer is yes.I'd tell myself, what good you doConvince myself...But, maybe hope is not enough. Maybe, like that 13 year old listening to her record, I still need to ask the question "how much do I do?" And maybe, that question is the question so I no longer have to convince myself but simply answer what good (I) do.It's my life, after all.