Come Play in May - Breathe, Find Your Zen
Find my Zen... Excuse me? I don't have time for Zen.
ZEN = WTF?
At least that's what I thought in January. Anyone who has met me knows that Zen is not what you think when you think of me. I am a Go-Go-Go kind of girl. I talk a lot and I talk fast. I always have twelve plates spinning and my scattered state reflects it. I am emotional, sensitive, and I rarely take time to breathe much less time for myself. And I thought that was just who I was.Until I hit a wall.And I drove myself into that wall; full speed. I had gone, gone, and gone with little sleep and less self-care. It had been the holidays, after all and I wanted everyone to be happy. And then I got sick. Three days after Christmas, I caught a virus. In fact, three out of four of the family did. We all felt awful. Daddy felt awful. Daughter felt awful. Mommy felt awful. Daddy got well. Daughter got well. Mommy did not.Mommy started coughing. Mommy started crying when she coughed. Mommy did not go to the doctor.Mommy stopped coughing. Mommy started crying when she breathed. Finally she did go to the doctor.Mommy had pneumonia. Mommy took her Z-Pack and thought she should be well. But she wasn't.I will spare you the off and on illness saga that followed for four months. I became humbled. I am 42. I cannot power through everything.So I have begun yoga. I used to be very serious about it but it was one of those things I gave up. You name in the name of taking care of everyone.I am trying to breathe and find my peace. My Zen. It doesn't come easily. I hate meditation. am like Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love where she stares at the clock and wonders when it will be over. I start thinking about how I shouldn't be thinking.Still my mind. Let it be. Nope doesn't come easily. Sometimes it does with music.Whether it's Yoga or the Beatles, I have to find my Zen whether that looks like Zen to anyone else.How do you find your Zen? What does it look like?Share your Zen or just come to play with my friends Evin and Shelley at the Axis of Ineptitude.
