Come Play in May - That Time I F@#ked Up

I'm back to play. Though the subject isn't very playful. My friends Evin and Shelley are challenging me to tell "that" time I f@#ked up. I think it's more accurate for me to say "a" time I f@#ked up.Among the list of dropped balls and missed opportunities, are times that I moved into f@#ked up. One of those times was an opportunity I blew because of fear and disappointment.In March 1998, I went to New York with my class from ACT for our showcase. Despite months of practice and tons of heart and soul, I woke the next day to NO calls. Zero. Nada. I called the messaging system back sure I hadn't done something wrong.Nope there were no calls. There were no calls the next day or the next. And no, this is not the F@#k up. I did my best and it did not s@#k.Here's where the f@#k up comes in. I did get a call the third day. A call from Williamstown Theatre Festival for a call-back. For those of you not in the theatre world, this is a big call. They are one of the most respected companies in the country and known for actors like Christopher Walken.So where does the F@#k come in, Traci? This is a good thing.Yes, it was a good thing. And I f@#ked it up. I didn't think it was a real call-back. I thought they invited everyone. They didn't. I walked into that audition with all that failure and wore it like a cloak. I blew the audition. I was given a chance and I let insecurity and anger stop me from a unique and earned opportunity.I am sharing that today because I don't want to make that mistake again. Opportunities come and go and if you don't grab them, you are not promised a second go at them. Who knows what would have happened if I had given the audition of a lifetime? Possibly nothing. I. Will. Never. Know.But now you know a time I f@#ked up.You can share a time you f@#ked up with the Come Play in May challenge.