January Challenge -- The Funniest Thing
So a head's up -- this is a piece about an awkward conversation with my kids about S-E-X. Yep. Sex. Insert chorus of Salt-n-Pepa's "Let's Talk About Sex" here.Hubby and I decided a long time ago that we would answer all questions, no matter how uncomfortable. We've told the kids they can ask us anything and we'll do our best to answer honestly (an age-appropriately). Sometimes this results in unintended humor.Yesterday was one of those times.It's a well known fact that children only hear the things you least want them to hear. Ask them to pick their socks off the floor five times and they won't hear it a one. Make a poorly timed inappropriate statement and their little ears train in like hunting dog.And that's exactly what happened.We were in the car. The kids were in the back seat talking, messing with iPads, anything but listening to Mommy and Daddy. Hubby makes an offhand remark about "making out". All of a sudden, the kids are at full attention.Little Diva: What's making out? Is it like sex?Sonny-Bunny: Not really. You don't take your clothes off.Already Hubby and I know we are in trouble. But it gets worse. Oh, so much worse.LD: I know what sex is.Me: You do?LD: Yep. Daddy told me.I look at Hubby and Hubby shrugs and shakes his head.LD: It's when Mommy and Daddy get naked and get in bed. They then say inappropriate things to each other. Then they make babies.I kid you not -- those were exact words "say inappropriate things to each other". At this point, Hubby and I are no longer able to hold in the giggles. Hubby emphatically states that he said no such thing.LD: He did. He did tell me that!Little Diva does not find any of it funny though big brother does. I try to step in.Me: I believe you that Daddy told you something ...Hubby is shaking his head as he tries desperately to stop laughing.SB: Baby! Stop talking about the "Birds and Trees". It's embarrassing!Me: It's the "Birds and Bees".SB: Whatever. She needs to stop!It descended from there.All that evening Hubby and I would turn to each other and say "inappropriate things... I'm saying inappropriate things to you."Between the Birds and Tree and those inappropriate utterings, this truly was our funniest thing this week.
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On a serious note, we did talk more to her about what sex really was. We still don't really know how she "learned" this version. I told her that it was a physical way to show love between Mommy and Daddy and yes, sometimes it can make babies. We also discussed that while we encourage questions, she should not talk about these things with her friends as we don't know what their parents share with them. What's your funniest thing? Share it with Axis of Ineptitude.