Right now I sit still stung and shaking and shocked by the senseless murder of nine innocents in a holy place. I know many of you feel the same way. I see the posts on Facebook and hear the calls for justice, for a flag to come down, and for our nation to face the very uncomfortable truth of how deep racism still runs in this country. I agree with all of these things yet I haven't posted much myself.To me, Facebook is for kids and cats. I rarely post serious or political points there. I don't have a problem with those who do, it's just not my format of choice. Frankly, I don't write that much here about these subjects. When it comes to sensitive topics, I am much more a face-to-face person. I worry that the flat black and white of typing will not reflect the thousands of shades of grey that come with these issues.But my heart hurts. It breaks for those lost and those who must live without them. It hurts for wounds old and new that still fall along color lines. And it rages for the insensitive and frankly stupid things said by politicians in its aftermath. So today, I wade into unknown and very uncomfortable waters and I state here what I have been yelling in my living room for the last three days.1. This was an act of terrorism. Had he been a Muslim walking into that church, we would not shy away from this term. He is white and blond, however, so we do. Call it what is was. He was cold and calculating and filled with hate. And he wanted to create terror. This was demonstrated by the decision to leave a messenger alive.2. This was not an accident. Again, the man sat among praying people who welcomed him into their sanctuary and after an hour of kindness, stood up and shot them multiple times. He has no story of self-defense and there is no question of danger from these parishioners. They were people joined in the most peaceful of acts -- prayer -- and he chose with forethought and will to take them from this earth. There was no accident here.3. Racism is not dead and we must face it. We cannot make this about one deranged young man any more than we can turn our eyes from religious radicalization. Racism is not just whether one says the "n" word or plots violence. Racism is about seeing someone as the "other" and therefore, not developing a sense of empathy for them. The "there but by the grace of God goes I" is replaced with judgment. When we cannot see ourselves in others, we see their actions with wariness and suspicion. And it cannot be eradicated without whites acknowledging this fact.We often want to deny this or worse, get defensive. Can I undo what my ancestors did? No. I come from slave-owning people. I have no more control over that than I do when the sun comes up. I am, however, responsible for what I do today. And if I do not speak out against injustice now, then I shall have to account for that in my reckoning.What happened in that church was pure evil; a crime against all humanity not just African-Americans. But I cannot bury my head in the sand and act as if this is the disease rather than a symptom of a much larger sickness. Like all violence against a group of people, it did not come out of a vacuum. If we cannot face the reality that are many lingering chards of racism's fire, we will never fully extinguish it. We have chopped down the tree but its roots remain.I say this with frustration as there are no easy solutions. It is said that it takes one time to reinforce a stereotype and over 100 times to change a person's view. As a society, we have allowed certain stereotypes to remain part of our culture. They have served as a security blanket distancing ourselves from the truth and responsibility. If one can look at the "other" and find fault in their character, it is easier to remove oneself from their plight.My words are not perfect, but I can stay silent no longer. I am trying to say the hard things in hope that others will, too. Until we can start asking the hard questions and listening to the even harder answers, more heartache is to follow. How? Why? What? When? How do we heal our country from this cancer? Why do we continue to see our fellow citizens as lesser or a danger to our vision of America?  What will we teach our kids so they see all people as God's children? When will we embrace our diversity and all people that contribute to this unique strength?I pray for the victims and their families. I pray for the Mother Emanuel church. I pray for South Carolina and I pray for this country. In all cases, I pray for healing, peace, and justice.