Self care: you’ve heard me talk about here, a lot!

Are you sick of it? I don’t fully blame you. It’s can frustrating, simply because it’s sometimes hard to wrap your mind around it. I have become obsessed with the topic because I have been facing a flare in my health issues. But even as I do enjoy indulging in some self care habits, it can feel so hard to get on a rhythm or routine.

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It is my Universe, after all.

Sometimes then, the very thing that’s supposed to make me feel better can drag me down and actually stress me out more. Alas, the irony!

All right, not really, but give me this. I mean I didn’t go all Alanis Morisette on you. It is the opposite of the desire, I just didn’t use it for a literary effect. How’s that for an understanding of the word?

But seriously, do you feel this way, too? Does it make cringe at the words “self care”? Well, let’s work together to fix that. It doesn’t have to be an impossible luxury or another routine to add to an already burdened routine.

Routine, Schmootine

First, I am deciding that I don’t need another routine.

Who’s with me?

My day planner doesn’t need another line. My phone doesn’t need another reminder. It really doesn’t! Here’s to practicing a little self care whenever we feel like it.

Whaaaaat????

Let’s take that in. We don’t need a routine in order to feel good. The truth is the more we force ourselves to keep up with some 10-step care routine, the less likely we are to do it at all.

A good habit is an easy habit

I am not saying it’s not a good idea to get into the habit of doing something helpful, even healthy, but it should not be stressful. If starting to to fill the bath, covering it with candles, and invest in expensive bath bombs once a week, becomes loathsome, cut back. Okay, I laughed at that one, too. How about if the four step skin care routine is too much everyday? Or if making the homemade vegan protein smoothie every morning? Or the 3x a week yoga class All of these are great for you, but not if they are stressing you out. Maybe lessen how often including, I guess, slipping into the water, until it goes back to making you feel good.

Someone may be REALLY missing her bathtub now that she lives in a home without one so take the above reflection with a grain of epsom salt.

No Pressure, PLEASE!

Self care is as much emotional as it is physical.

With chronic illness, sometimes taking a shower is a big ask. I could beat myself up over that, or I can grab a can of dry shampoo. That’s what I talk about with “the pebble” and I sincerely believe a little step in the direction does make a difference.

When we’re feeling pressure, internally rather than externally, we’re going to succumb to it far more often. But that’s not REAL self care! By forcing ourselves to do something we don’t really want to do, we’re doing more harm than good.

You Can’t Screw it Up

It’s true.

Basically, if you are trying to take care of yourself, every little bit helps. And let’s be honest, here, it’s not brain surgery. I mean, it’s nice finding out how to know your skin type, but even washing your face and having a few glasses of water a day is going to be good for you, no matter what.

As a result, there really is no wrong way to care for yourself. Get in the bath, cook a three-course meal, tidy the living room, and , as appropriate, learn about the different types of testosterone so you can be healthier as a result - as long as it makes you feel a little better. That’s self-care. It’s as simple as that. For me, cleaning works very well. For you. when deciding what activity what’s best, consider what allows you to clear your mind, and stop fixating on ‘what’s wrong’ in and around you.

Just Close Your Eyes

After a long day, sometimes, heading to bed as soon as you can is the best plan. Don’t bother with anything else. Our skin will survive. Even our teeth can handle a night (don’t tell my dentist) if it’s been that bad of a day. When we’re THAT tired, sleep is always the best remedy.

It’s how our body heals. Bones and muscles take a rest when they most need it. When hitting the sheets for the night isn’t possible, I am a proud napper. Don’t be ashamed, if you need it have a nap. From 20 minutes to 2 hours, have a good sleep on the sofa with a comfy blanket on top of you.

It’s Not a T0-Do Item

Self care is not a matter of ticking boxes and clearing away a to-do list. I admit this was tough for me. I love my to-do lists and I put everything on thing on my lists. Well, almost everything… You get me.

This was me:

Yoga
Take a bath (now shower 😔 )
Make smoothie while wearing face mask,
Etc. You get the idea…

Pretty sad, really. It all became work. I loved yoga but I started to hate it with my illness, because I started to feel like a failure, instead of just doing it when I can. If we don’t have the energy to do more than one thing, than let’s do one thing. Let’s celebrate the ONE thing!!!

It doesn’t have to be hard.

Self care doesn't have to be another pressure, something that we’re ‘supposed to do’ but never quite manage to do. Let’s do it bit by bit, as and when we can, need, and want to, so that it is something that feeds us, rather than drains us. Remember, self care isn’t another notch on our schedule, it’s a gift to ourselves!

Ease into Self-Care